***So... I started this story some years ago. It was the first and only story I've ever written before completing and publishing The Rise of a Champ! I'm not sure if I'll ever finish it, but I wanted to give you all an opportunity to read it and provide feedback.***
Prologue How in the hell did I end up in this mess of a situation? I realize that lying here and staring at the wall is not going to give me an answer, so I just let my mind wander. The last time I actually thought about my life, I was a happily married wife and mother of wonderful seven-year-old twin boys. They say there is a difference between living and existing; well I’ve always thought I was living until that fateful day that I bumped into the man that changed it all and had an epiphany that all this time I merely just existed. Now that I think about it, all of the signs were there to tell me to walk away, but I just couldn’t, it was something so engaging about him that I couldn’t walk away. But in all honesty, I was so curious, more like itching to find out what it was like not to be the responsible, monogamous, happily married mother of two. When I look back on how much things have changed in such a short period of time, I begin to question and gauge my true happiness. As far back as I can remember it was always my goal to “grow up” and never become one of those women who immerse themselves into their husbands and families and that’s exactly what I was doing when things just...changed. As I continue to get my thoughts together and in order so that I can actually process and accept that I’ve changed and that I’m no longer the same woman I was one year ago, I can’t stop thinking about how I should feel guilty, but I don’t. And all because an employee asked me one day, “So, what hobbies and activities do you have outside of being a wife and mother?” That one question held so much weight and caused me to rethink every decision that I’ve made in my life up to that point. She didn’t mean any harm when she asked but that question has caused me more damage inside than it helped her with her class assignment. Not only could I not come up with an answer, but I couldn’t think of anything else but that one question from that point on. It hit me like a ton of bricks that all of my “hobbies and activities” centered on me being a wife and mother. To me, that’s just sad when you think about it. To have your whole existence revolve around the lives of others is absolutely dreadful. Since I was driving myself crazy trying to find out “what my activities and hobbies were outside of marriage and motherhood,” I decided that from that day forward, I would make a conscious effort to have me time and rediscover what I actually enjoyed about life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and children unconditionally, but outside of loving them, I truly felt unfulfilled in life. Well, I guess I got myself into this situation, or more like a fiasco, so I have no choice but to get myself out. I snap back to reality and realize since there is no time like the present, I better handle my business. I take my time peeling back the ultra-comfortable covers, slip my feet into my slippers, and walk around to the other side of the bed. I could just stand here forever and watch him sleep. It literally brings tears to my eyes to have to wake him, but I have to be a big girl and like Nike said: Just Do It. I gently tap him on the shoulder and watch him slightly stir. When that doesn’t work, I rub his “spot” right between his ear and shoulder blade and just like I thought, that causes his eyes to flutter and the smile that spreads on his face when he looks at me, just causes to melt on the inside. Once he sees my tears he asks, “What’s wrong?” Whoever thought that two words could so be the start of something so damaging. I tell him to meet me in the kitchen because we “have to talk.” Just like a typical man, hearing those three words instantly changes his mood. As he walks to the table he realizes that this conversation will be a lot heavier than he intended, so he asks “Could I at least make a cup of coffee first?” I respond in the sweetest voice I can muster “Sure, would you mind making me a cup as well?” He looks at me as if I just asked him to birth ten children for me. His response is not what I expected. “When have I ever, ever had a problem doing anything for you?” I wish he wouldn’t talk and smile at me like that. This is just making what I have to do that much harder. Once the coffee is brewed and the smell filled the room with its bitter, chocolaty aroma, it helps me relax a bit, but not too much because I have to keep my mind on the task at hand. When he finally joins me at the table, his voice is strong and sure, but his eyes tell another story when he asks me what’s on my mind. I wrap my cold hands around the hot coffee mug, hoping the warmth from the cup not only heats my cold hands but the coldness I feel in my entire body. I am dreading the outcome of telling this man something that I know will change both of our lives forever, but I know it’s now or never. My eyes meet his as I stutter. “Well, I guess there is no easy way to say this, but I’ve been holding this in and I feel like now is the right time to tell you.” “Time to tell me what Zan?” he says in his overly husky morning voice. My top lip slightly curls into a smile, as I notice that even though I am about to drop a bomb on him, he still calls me by my nickname. I take my time staring around the room before I speak, “Just promise me that before you react, you’ll listen to everything I have to say.” “Zan, you’re scaring me! But OK, I promise. Just please tell me what’s going on.” The minute I raised my eyes to meet his, he must see it! The change I’ve experienced. And I even think I see a sign of defeat in those beautiful eyes that I have grown to love. But I finally take a deep breath and start telling him what I don’t want to, but what I must. One Year Earlier Chapter 1: Zander “Good Morning Carmeltown!!!! Today it’s another beautiful day outside. So if you can, take some time out and enjoy the City of Sweets.” Every morning I awaken to the same greeting from our friendly meteorologist telling me what I can expect when I finally opened my eyes and the blinds. I’m a light sleeper whose internal alarm clock has never steered me wrong. Since Steve “The Weather” Simms has already warned me of the beautiful day waiting to greet me, I decided that I should follow suit and snap on my beautiful attitude to match. Before I fully rise out of bed, I turned on my side to kiss my husband on his back as a signal for him to rise and shine. Since he’s the opposite of me and not at all a morning person, I have to plan my “hubby wake-up attack” wisely to ensure that however I decide to wake him, it doesn’t interfere with his duties to go to war with temperamental teenagers as their high school principal. On a scale of 1-10, I would say that my marriage is a solid 6 ½ on most days and an eight on the really good days. The day I decided to marry Mr. Nathaniel Timothy Monroe wasn’t some fairy-tale that all girls wish would happen, instead it was more like an “OK we’ve been together and shacking long enough so we might as well make it official.” It just so happened that not too long after we said our “I do’s” I discovered I was pregnant. If it wasn’t for my annual check-up I would have ended up on that show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” because during my appointment I found out that not only was I expecting twins, but that I was 22 weeks, more than halfway into my pregnancy with no symptoms at all. My husband and I were more shocked than excited, and if I’m being totally honest, I definitely didn’t want to have kids so soon after our wedding, or even at all for that matter. So 13 weeks later I gave birth to two of the most beautiful baby boys that I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Not only were they healthy, but they were the splitting image of my husband, I just felt like I was the vessel to carry his children, because they had none of my features. And almost exactly six years later they are still lighting up our lives. Speaking of my husband, I need to get back to my wifely duties and make sure that he’s not late for work. To make this task easier, I lean over again and whisper in his ear “Nate, Nate, Nate!” That does a little something, so I follow up with check rub. As my hands cross his stubbly cheek, I take the time to admire how handsome he is. Even though he’s sleeping my eyes start at his head and take in his wavy, low and sharp haircut. He has what most folks call “good hair.” I chuckle even thinking about how silly that sounds. Then my eyes roam over his smooth brown skin that is the perfect shade of brown. When we first met, I used to call him “café au lait” because his shade is that of coffee with milk added. The only thing I can’t see on his face is his eyes, those eyes that are so hazel they pierce right through you. That was the first thing that attracted me to him because it was like he knew that his eyes were so beautiful, so he always looked people in the eye and never wavered. That showed his strength. Now my husband’s Achilles heel is his lips, he always jokes that he has more lips than face. I told him not to worry because that just means that he hasn’t grown into them yet. I love his lips, to me, that adds to his non-traditional handsomeness. At 33 years young, as he likes to say, he’s of average height; around 5’11, still in good shape with his thin build, but has a wardrobe that would put most men to shame. Nate loved clothes, suits, jeans, designer threads, ties, it didn’t matter; if it was clothes he was into it. He was the type of man that could wear a suit to work Monday-Friday and throw on some jeans and timberlands on the weekend and he looked good in it all. Well now that Nate is beginning to wake up, I take that as my cue to begin my morning ritual. As I step out of bed I hear Nate grumble and complain about how it’s still so early. I remind him that it’s 5:45 am and he needs to be out the door by 6:40 am, and since it’s going to be a beautiful day he should focus on that instead. “That’s the real reason I married you,” Nate said. After I laughed, I asked, “Oh, so you mean my timeless beauty and wonderful skills in the sack had nothing to do with it?” “Well I kind of forgot about that, but seriously Zander, you just really put things into perspective without all the bells and whistles. So good morning and thanks for making sure I start my day off right.” Now that the husband is up and at it, it’s time for me to wake my little princes. As much as I couldn’t imagine myself being a mother in the past, I couldn’t imagine having any other kids chosen for me. Since they are identical twins, I work very hard on giving each of them their own identity. My pet peeve is when someone calls them “twin,” which I think bothers me more than it bothers them. The oldest by 7 ½ minutes is Nathaniel Jr. who just prefers to be called J.R and our youngest is Cam who would probably much rather prefer being called Cameron Josiah instead of his nickname. J.R is all boy- sports, dirt, and hyperactive as hell. He requires a busy schedule and it tires me out just thinking about it. Cam is sort of reserved, but for a child of six he is very sharp and attentive. A lot of times I think Cam has been here once or twice. They both play basketball and take swim lessons in the fall/winter and soccer in the spring/summer. Recently J.R has expressed interest in playing football, but I am absolutely against it and of course Nate thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread. As much as I am against J.R playing football, I am for Cam wanting to take dance lessons and of course I can’t even mention the words son and dance in the same sentence without my husband having a conniption. It’s not like he wants to be a ballerina, in his words “Mom, have you seen how many hits kids get for dancing on YouTube?” I guess he has a point. This is an ongoing battle in the Monroe household. Stayed tuned to see who won. My boys are really close and protective of each other, but my husband likes to say we each have our own son. Although they mirror my husband in appearance, Cam is really close to his Mom, we definitely have an unexplainable bond that I am sure my husband will concur that this same bond exists between him and J.R. To my surprise when I walk in the boys’ room they are both awake and preparing for the morning. This day is going to be better than I thought. Just a few weeks ago on their birthday, I think the party in my head was far better than their actual birthday party because that’s the day my boys decided that they were big enough to dress themselves. I still have to get their clothes ready, even if it is a uniform, and make sure they properly brush their teeth and wash their faces, but for 6-yr. olds they’ve really made me proud with their independence. While everyone is getting ready, I go downstairs and double check to make sure that everything is in order for my work day. As the proprietor/operator of Little Feet Child Care Center, an in home day care, my days are full and anything but monotonous. Along with me, I have a staff of two, my good friend Mindy comes in at 7:00am and we have a work-study student from my husband’s school that comes in at 2:00pm every day. We are currently at capacity with six children under the age of five and three school age kids who come in for before and after school care. Nate and Mindy have been trying to persuade me to expand the business from an in home daycare to a full service child care center since I have a waiting list about a half mile long, but I am really happy with the business and can’t imagine taking on that task and still being a full-time mom and wife. The doors to Little Feet, which is housed in my full basement, is open every Monday-Friday at 6:45 am and since it’s almost that time, I make one last dash around the house to make sure everything is in order, then I yell to Nate that he has 15 minutes, and finally my last stop is in the boys’ room to make sure they are still being the big boy’s they so desperately want the credit for. As I am walking back downstairs, I stop and look at myself in the full-length mirror in our hallway and the person staring back at me just reminds me how much I need to go on a diet. In my standard work uniform of khakis and a Little Feet polo shirt, my pants are bunching at the waist because of my recent weight gain in that area. For me to be a woman only 5’2, I could stand to lose a few from my 151-pound frame. It seems that most of the weight has definitely gone to my hips and butt, which Nate doesn’t seem to mind, but I am at the point that if I gain two more pounds I will be fat. This just reminds me that I have to find time to use that gym membership that’s about to expire in a few months. It’s a good thing I’ve always done a good job of keeping my deep, dark skin looking baby soft and smooth. If it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s to see people with dark skin looking dry and ashy. It doesn’t take much to have a little skin care. I also have to remember that I have a hair appointment today with Jinnah, my wonderful hairstylist who knows that I don’t have a lot of time to fuss with my hair, so she makes sure that my full head of hair is always Clair Huxtable bouncy and behaving. She’s been trying to convince me to try something new, like color or haircut, but I keep reminding her that my standard wash and curl has not failed me to this point, so I have no reason to change it up. Walking away from the mirror I tell myself, “Zander Corrine Monroe, you have got to make time for the gym, and before your upcoming 31st birthday.” Now it’s time for me to snap back to reality and unlock the doors. Before I do so, I make the last call to the men of the house, “Monroe men, downstairs NOW!” Sometimes being the only one with estrogen in this house can be a task. But I wouldn’t trade my family in for the world. The minute I make my announcement, I hear feet start to run down the steps; I just light up as I look at the men in my life are all looking as handsome as ever. *************************************** This is as good a time as any to use this membership that I purchased months ago and have never used. When I am not working with Mindy, I am in a constant state of sighing with my other best friend, Vonne, also known as the woman who has had more abortions than Mindy has children and has the nerve not to use profanity because she says that “a true lady never lets garbage leave their mouths.” But it’s OK to single-handedly keep Planned Parenthood in business. It’s all her fault that I keep looking at the clock in my car hoping and wishing that I can convince time to stand still so that I won’t have to go inside the gym. I purposely get there a few minutes earlier than Vonne so I can have time to scope out the place, take a tour and find out which classes I will realistically attend. As soon as I walk in, the receptionist greets me and asks if I need assistance with anything and I tell her that although I am already a member, I’ve never actually used my membership and will need a tour. A tour guide comes over in the standard gym uniform and begins his well-rehearsed spiel pointing out all of the perks and advantages of being a member of Fitness Unlimited. Once we arrive at the class schedule I perk up because I know in my heart of hearts that I’ll never be a StairMaster or elliptical girl, and if I ever want to shed those extra pounds I better do it in somebody’s class. Mr. Tour Guide points out the Zumba, ab and cardio classes, then he stops and says, “Not many people have been interested so far, but we just started a pole dance class here since that’s the new rave at fitness centers in the area.” I say, “WOW, well that sounds interesting but I think Zumba is more my speed.” As soon as Mr. Tour Guide finishes I see Vonne sashaying her way in the door looking more like she’s ready to walk down Hollywood Blvd instead of exercise. I chuckle to myself and watch as she walks past a group of men, how their tongues appear to be hanging from the mouths like a pack of dogs and the irony of the situation makes me laugh out loud. As soon as I get ready to call out to Vonne someone steps behind me and asks “Now that you are finished laughing at our establishment, is there something I can help you with?” My smile quickly disappears as I take my time turning around ready to give this stranger a piece of my mind for interrupting the comedy show going on in my head. The first thing I realize is that this man is probably not used to any woman telling him how she feels unless it’s to compliment how great he is, but I ignore how handsome he is for a moment and ask him “Didn’t your mother teach you that when you assume, you make an a.....” He didn’t even let me finish one of my favorite quotes before he started apologizing. “I’m sorry, you’re right! It’s just that I love working here and I’m easily offended if I think someone isn’t happy with the services we provide. I’m Dame Thompson, a personal trainer here at Fitness Unlimited, and you are?” I hesitate for a second, asking myself do I really want to introduce myself. After all, I didn’t come here for a personal trainer or to make friends. I am just here to drop some of this extra weight! After much consideration, I decided that I don’t want to be rude even though being social is not one of my best traits. “I’m Zander, nice to meet you. Well, I better get going. I’m on a schedule and my workout partner has just arrived. So again, nice to meet you.” Vonne scopes me out talking to Mr. Thompson and walks over and looks past me to ask “And who might that be Zannie? Because he is clearly still looking this way, although I can’t determine if he’s checking you or me out. Maybe he’s checking out us both! He might be of those men interested in more than one flavor at a time if you get my drift.” “Vonne, I really don’t care who he’s checking out, we need to go review the calendar so we can decide what classes we’re going to be taking. Remember the task at hand; you promised to be my workout partner so don’t go getting distracted by a piece of meat.” “Dang Zannie, you take the fun out of everything! Geez, no wonder why your husband never wants to do anything, because you are a bore! Let’s go check out this calendar and make a workout schedule.” We both agree that Zumba is the best route, and since it’s held three days per week from 7:15 pm - 8:30 pm we decide that we would dedicate ourselves to attending classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and make the Monday night classes optional. For the first time since I decided to start exercising, I am really excited about my choice to start getting healthy. Hopefully, this will help Nate and me in other departments as well. We still have about fifteen more minutes until the start of tonight’s class so Vonne and I decide to walk to the Whole Foods grocery store to get some water before we enter into the world of Zumba. As we walk into the store I am looking in my purse for my discount card and Vonne is on her phone not paying me any attention when suddenly I walk slam into what I think is a brick wall. The next thing I notice is a hand reaching out to help me up off the ground and then I hear Vonne asking me if I’m OK. “Well besides being embarrassed, I’m fine.” I look up to apologize to the stranger who is helping me up and stare into a pair of eyes that look very familiar and I notice that it’s no other than Mr. Dame Thompson, personal trainer, himself. “I’m so sorry Mr. Thompson. I guess I should be more careful and pay attention to what’s in front of me and not what’s under me.” He smiles the most perfect smile ever and says in a voice that kind of sounds like he’s flirting, “I couldn’t have said that better myself Zander. Please call me Dame, and it’s no problem, are you sure you’re OK?” Before I could even respond, Vonne is sticking her hand out introducing herself, “Hi, I’m Vonne, Zander’s best friend. You are.....Dame, was it?” “Nice to meet you Vonne, I’ve already introduced myself to Zander to let her know that I am a personal trainer at the gym, so if you guys are interested in my services, please let me know. And Zander, I owe you a special discount since I knocked you down. I feel horrible for that, so please let me offer you a week of free training sessions to make up for it.” He has the most sincere, apologetic look on his face, I almost feel guilty for having to decline his services. “You don’t have to do that, I actually feel it was my fault for not paying attention. Plus my schedule is already quite full, so besides the classes that Vonne and I have committed to, I don’t really have the extra time. But I really appreciate you offering.” Vonne finally decides to intervene and put her two cents in, “Zannie, you can just take the time that we would be in Zumba classes to have some personal training sessions, It’s OK, I can take the classes by myself for a week.” If looks could kill, my laser beams would have gone straight to Vonne’s brain and killed her on sight! Luckily I didn’t have to embarrass myself further by continuing to decline, because Dame interjected and said, “Well I definitely don’t want to take you away from your other duties, but just know that the offer stands and anytime you’re ready just let me know. I practically live at the gym so I’m always around.” And with that, he walked away. As I am attempting to finish my shopping, Vonne is constantly asking me why I turned down free training sessions. I continually remind her that I didn’t agree to work out with a personal trainer, I agreed to work out with her in Zumba classes twice a week and that’s what we’re going to do, now end of story. After working out as hard as I’ve worked since giving birth, I decided that Zumba classes were the right choice and that the instructor is definitely what I needed. She was encouraging, but not an enabler, if she said harder it was because she knew you could give it more. That workout was really good and Vonne and I both are looking forward to class on Thursday night. When Vonne and I step aside to discuss what we thought about the class while packing up our bags, we overhear two young video looking chicks discussing Mr. Personal Trainer himself. The shorter one is the most smitten with him, she’s going on and on about how he makes it a point to go out of his way to speak to her every time she walks in. While Miss Legs seconds what her friend says adding that she would definitely give him some and still pay him for his training sessions if she needed. She heard that all women under thirty come to this gym just for Mr. Thompson himself, and that one time two girls were even fighting over him. Shorty then says that she’s glad that they finally got pole dancing classes because she could finally learn something other than these boring Zumba moves that nobody but the old ladies enjoy. I immediately give Vonne a look that says two things: Who is she calling old, and just like I thought, Mr. Thompson is indeed a player that I should stay far away from. Just like I thought Vonne understood exactly what I was saying without speaking and couldn’t help herself but to comment on what my look was telling her. As we’re walking out Vonne says, “Just because they are gossiping doesn’t make it true. You of all people should know not to believe what someone says. They probably have no idea what they are talking about. The man is a personal trainer and he has to be friendly to drum up business, so the fact that he is as fine as wine, just adds to his pitch.” “Vonne, why are you making a case for this man? You don’t even know him and I am married in case you’ve forgotten.” She turns and gives me a look, “I am not advocating for you to be involved with this man, I want you to have friends besides Mindy, Tori and I and to have fun. You have no life outside of Nate and the boys and you don’t know any males outside of them and if Dame is offering you free personal training sessions, take them. If anything, it’ll help you with getting closer to your weight loss goal and become more appealing to your husband. You know I am not into breaking up homes, so that’s not why I’m pushing. I want you to enjoy your life, Zannie. You are still young and I don’t want you to regret turning into an old maid way before your time, that’s all. Goodnight, call me when you get home to let me know you got in safely.” With that, I watch her walk to her car and begin to head to mine while her words ring in my head like a song that I can’t stand “I don’t want you to regret turning into an old maid way before your time.” I wish that Vonne wasn’t right so much. She always has to call me out when I least expect it. This was supposed to be a night of exercising, nothing more nothing less and instead it turned into a night of calling me out on my somewhat pitiful existence as only a wife and mother. Well I can’t let Vonne get me down, not when I know that although my husband and children are a large part of my life, I am happy being where I am, and those boys love me so that’s all that matters. When I get home, I am shocked to find that my husband and boys are all up waiting for me to tell them how my first day at the gym was. “I didn’t expect you guys to be interested, but it went well. Auntie Vonne and I decided to do the Zumba classes twice a week.” Cam being the observant one is the first one to speak. “Mommy, don’t you already have the Zumba game for the Kinect, why can’t you just play it with us at home instead of leaving us to go to the gym?” My husband gives a look as if he actually agrees with the miniature version of himself. “Well Cam, Mommy has the right to get out and have fun with her friends, just like you do. It’ll only be twice a week, so I think we can manage without her for a few hours. Like tonight, we all worked together and made dinner without mommy having to do anything for us. Go to the kitchen and see for yourself Mommy!” Nate never does anything like this on his own too often, but it’s probably because he never has to since I always make dinner. It reminded me of how good of a cook he is, and I start thinking that maybe this gym idea was the right decision so I can teach these men that I am not a maid and they can learn to do some things on their own. When I walk to the kitchen, I immediately smell my favorite meal. “Awwwww, Nate! You made my favorite.” I open the lids to reveal a beautiful skillet of smoked Italian turkey sausages with onions and red, yellow and green peppers. Another pan is surprisingly filled with brown rice instead our normal white rice. “I figured since you were serious about this weight loss thing, we should all eat a little healthier,” says Nate. “That’s so thoughtful of you, I really appreciate your support on this. I know it’s going to take some getting used to me not being home for a few hours, but it’s only twice a week and I promise not to miss any family events.” He doesn’t respond to my promise, instead, he calls the boys and tells them it’s bedtime, but not before they walk to the kitchen to give me my goodnight smooches. I swear no matter how many kisses I get from them, they all just make me fall in love all over again. I can’t believe the impact that two such little beings can have on your life, but I would do anything for J.R. and Cam. “Mom, I’m almost getting too big for kisses, so we may need a secret handshake or something.” Of course that comes from Mr. Man himself, J.R. “J.R, how about kisses at home and a secret handshake everywhere else?” He thinks before agreeing, “that sounds like a plan!” After I finish eating and make my way upstairs to get a shower, I stop in to speak to Nate to ask how his day went and how he really feels about me going to the gym. “How was your day? I can see that the teenagers let you make it home to your family so it must have been a good one.” “My day was fine, nothing too exciting, just preparing for the upcoming proficiency tests, so you know that can be kind of stressful.” Before I speak again, I give him a look to see if I can tell what he’s thinking by looking into those mesmerizing eyes. He asks with a chuckle, “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because I want to know how you really feel about me going to the gym? You didn’t seem too happy about it a few minutes ago, but you were all for it when I talked with you about it.” Chapter 2: Nate I give my wife a long look before speaking, I want to be honest with her, but I also want to get my point across without hurting her feelings. “It’s not that I’m not happy Zander, I know your reasons for wanting to be healthy but you made it seem as if something is wrong with you. If I wanted a skinny woman, I would have married one. You are fine just the way you are and I don’t want you thinking I’m not attracted to you or that I’m unhappy with your appearance. I’m a realist, I understand that most women don’t walk around looking like a model every day, all day. You have a full schedule with the boys and with the daycare, so I know that you’re a hard working woman, which is another reason why I married you. But I know you have to do certain things to make you happy that I don’t understand, so that’s why I support you.” As soon as I finish saying my piece Zander tries to process it without jumping to conclusions. On most days she is really understanding and knows how to agree to disagree, but I know how adamant she was about losing weight so I figure it’s a losing battle, but that doesn’t stop me from being slightly selfish and wanting to keep my wife as she is all to myself. I trusted Zander, but I didn't trust the men she'd be sweating around at the gym. One of Zander's annoying traits was that she didn't know or care about her effect on other men. She's had a body that women were paying top dollar for and I knew first hand what that body could do. Additionally, she was beautiful without even trying and she had no idea how attractive that was to real men. “Nate, I’ve never said I wanted to be skinny, I want to be healthy and you should want me to healthy too. I know you love me, but it’s like you don’t desire anymore, the only time you show interest in me is if you think I’m ovulating and can get pregnant.” Ding, ding, ding! Now we are getting to the bottom of this. She still doesn’t want to budge on having another baby when I’ve been ready since the twins were three. Most women would love that their husband is interested and excited about expanding the family, but all Zander wants to do is think about her body at a time like this. “Zander, we both have busy careers, the boys, and plus I have the basketball team, outside of that it’s hard to have this passionate romance that you so desire. Be realistic, you are acting as if we don’t have a sex life at all.” Her eyes seem as if they are ready to drop a few tears as she says, “Nate, I am being realistic, a realistic wife who knows that she won’t be having a baby anytime soon and that she will be going to the gym twice a week and that if her husband knows what’s best he better start supporting her the same way that she supports him even if it’s something they both don’t necessarily agree on. Now I am getting in the shower, so good night because I have a feeling that since I’m not ovulating you’ll be sleeping when I get out.” She can be so stubborn at times. Whereas most men complain that they have a woman who “talks back” too much, my wife will shut down in a second if something isn’t going her way. I wish she would understand that I don’t want to fight, but I do want to be honest with her about my feelings. We are not getting any younger so I don’t know why she doesn’t want more kids, to at least try for a mini version of herself. She is always complaining that it’s too much testosterone in the house and she needs some company, so I took that as a cue to expand. I wasn’t even thinking about have more kids until she said that. I know a lot of her resistance has to do with her not even wanting any kids at all; the fact that Cam and J.R. were definitely a surprise threw her in a tailspin. But she has far exceeded my expectations of being a great mother. At first, I’m not going to lie, I was a little worried about how she would respond to motherhood because she wasn’t always the most responsible, reliable person but she’s always had a heart of gold. But the minute they arrived, she transformed into super mom. Aside from my Stepmom, whom I call Mom, offering to help out here and there, Zander was pretty much on her own with not one, but two babies. Another part of Zander’s hesitation comes from her growing up in a house as the oldest of eight children where her parents constantly struggled to care for them. Even though her family is so large, aside from birthdays, funerals and holidays, Zander pretty much has no communication with them. She insists that when she left home, she did it so she wouldn’t have to look back and that she would never put that type of strain on her own family. Having twins on her first pregnancy really spooked her because we weren’t prepared, but we did it. I really don’t like fighting with Zander, so times like this I look back on the day we had our nuptials and even though it’s been seven years I still remember like it was yesterday, “Do you take Zander Corinne Stephenson as your wife?” And I couldn’t get out my “yes” fast enough. I know Zander would like for me to be romantic and attentive, but that’s just not me and the fact is that Mrs. Monroe married a man who was raised by a single father until I was a teenager when my dad met my stepmom, so there wasn’t a lot of emotional support going on in the household with me, my dad and brother. My dad did an awesome job raising Johan and I when our mom walked away when I was only five and Johan was two. The sad thing is that in all those years she never once visited, called or wrote. She could walk up to me right now and I probably wouldn’t even recognize her. So I think my mom walking away from us has a lot to do with me pushing Zander to have more kids. If I let Johan tell it, he’ll try to get all in my psyche and evaluate what I’m subconsciously putting in the universe, so even though we are super close, I choose to leave him out of this discussion. I hear Zander finishing up in the shower and decide that I’m not going to let her go to bed angry at me and I want to show her that I do love her so I turn off the TV and turn on our favorite music station and wait for her to join me. Just to make sure that nothing is ruined I even make sure that I have a condom handy to make Zander happy. I still can’t live down the fact that I have to wear a condom as a married man because my wife not only refuses to get pregnant, but she also refuses to get on any type of birth control. But I am not going to let that ruin our evening. Since I know she was working hard at the gym, I decide to get her favorite oil ready and give her a foot massage. When she walks out the bathroom she asks, “What’s all this for?” I can still sense a slight attitude in her voice, but I look past that. “Just come lay down and let me rub your feet, I know they have to be killing you from standing all day then going to the gym.” “Look Nate, I’m tired and we both have a long day tomorrow. So let’s just not talk about today anymore and call it a night.” There she goes shutting down again, but I will not let her win this argument, we will kiss and make up by any means necessary. “Z, don’t be so mean! Just get in the bed and relax. I haven’t asked you for anything, I just want to be a man who can give his wife a foot massage after a long day.” I hated to raise my voice, but sometimes you have to talk to Zander that way or else she’ll talk you right out of an idea. Her friends jokingly call her the fun stealer. Even though she doesn’t mean it, she’s the type of woman that would ruin a surprise then look at everyone else and wonder why no one told her it was supposed to be a surprise. I chuckle when I think about this and she catches me and wonders why I’m laughing. I just tell her because as difficult as she is, I still love her and wouldn’t trade her for the world. She takes that as her cue to just surrender and let me have my way. One point Nate, zero for Z! Since she sleeps on the right side of the bed, I climb in on the opposite end and take her small left foot in my hand and set it in my lap while I lube my hands with some of her good smelling oil. “So, tell me how the class was.” “I don’t want to talk about that Nate, I went with Vonne, so you know it turned into the ‘Vonne show’ in there. I was just happy that the class size was small and the teacher was knowledgeable and nice. The End!” “Well, now that we got that out of the way, Cam came home with a permission slip to attend a hip-hop dance class on Saturday’s. I was surprised that he handed it to me. Even though I’ve never voiced my opinion aloud to him, I know he’s pretty aware that I don’t completely accept him wanting to attend dance classes. When I asked him why he gave it to me, he said just as proud as he could, ‘You always tell me not to listen to what other people do and how they live, live and do what makes you happy. I really don’t understand it, but I know dancing makes me happy.’ When he said that, I just knew that we, or should I say I, can’t hold him back. I already signed the slip so we’ll have to discuss the logistics of getting him to practice later.” When I go to reach for her other foot, she leans in to kiss me and if I ever forgot how sweet and soft her lips were, she reminded me in an instant all that I didn’t want to miss. I look into her eyes and she has a look in them that says, I can’t believe I married such a fine man! At least that’s what I think I see. Before I can ask her she whispers, “I know that took a lot for you to do that for Cam, and I know that you are a man’s man and you just want your boys into sports, but you just did your son the ultimate favor by not making him feel like an outcast because he wants to dance. Since you stepped out on a limb for Cam, I figure we can go ahead and let J.R. try football, but Nate, I’m not sure if I’ll feel comfortable watching the games at first, so we will have to figure out another way for me to show my support for him during the games.” Two points Nate, one point Z! Since I am up by one, I take the opportunity to ease in for another one of her sweet kisses. As we prepare to separate I slide my hands up her nightgown and just as I guessed, she is completely nude underneath. That gets me excited instantly and I have a hard time getting my body to slow down at a pace where my mind is as my dick pokes through my boxers. The minute my hands touches her body, my wife lets out the sweetest purr I have ever heard. I guess I’m not moving fast enough for her because she throws me back on the bed and begins to pull at my boxers. My Z has never been the shy type in the bedroom and she goes for what she wants. I try to convince her to slow down and take it easy and let us enjoy one another. As I am switching positions and turning over her naked body so that she is lying on her stomach, I get some more of her oil and begin to rub her shoulders and back. When I get down to her butt and hips, I can’t imagine why she would want to lose any weight. Zander has an awesome body in my opinion and yes she has gained a little weight, but what person our age hasn’t? As I am rubbing my palms into her smooth dark skin I feel like I am becoming one with her and at this very moment, I am so happy and so in love with my wife. She turns around on her back and opens her legs and I fit into her center like a missing puzzle piece. “Damn, I love you Z!” I had to let her know that she is perfect just the way she is. Me telling her that I loved her turned her on even more, and I could feel her slickness as my manhood rubbed against her center. Instead of plunging myself into her like I wanted to, I took the time to pay special attention to her breasts. She always complains that she is a member of the itty bitty titty committee, but more than a mouthful is too much for me! She is thick in all the right places for me. Her moaning gets louder, and I get more turned on and can’t take it anymore so I reach for the condom and she stops me. I’m shocked by her willingness not to use a condom, but I don’t want her to change her mind so I take my manhood and rub it against her opening and she is so slick and wet that it makes me shudder. This woman just does something to me, so I plunge into her and the sound that escapes from her sends me to a point of no return. I am pumping in and out and the more I pump the wetter she becomes. Her pussy must have been shaped to fit my dick because she is wrapped around my pole like a glove. As I feel myself building up for the grand finale, she can sense it and decides to back away from me and turn on her stomach. I know when she does this it means one thing! “Oh, so you want it rough tonight, huh?” Without waiting for her answer I take my hand and slap it so hard across her ass I know my neighbors could probably hear. As soon as remove my hand, her ass is still jiggling. Seeing how much she loves it I do it again, then after the second time I reenter my wife, and my woman is so wet that her juices are dripping down her legs. I already know that I won’t be able to hold out much longer so I make sure that every stroke that I give her is so good I would have bet my life that she thought it couldn’t get better. She is now screaming and begging me not to stop and right when I feel myself about to let loose inside of her, her box begins to contract around my pole and she starts to utter indescribable words as I try my best to last thirty more seconds. Not being able to hold off any longer I give one last pump and release the most guttural groan possible as I let all my little Monroe’s go inside of my wife’s love cave. “Damn woman, did I tell you how much I love you!” She smirks as she replies one of our favorite lines, “You don’t love me, you just love my doggie style! It gets you every time.” Chapter 3: Dame The minute I walked in the bar I saw my boys surrounded by a group of ladies and then I remembered, this is the exact reason why I drive myself anytime we go out because I never know what these niggas will get into once the bar closes down. They are into some wild things and most times I just live vicariously through them and their stories… tonight would be no different. When I finally approached the group, I fist bumped Jus, Arick, and Shawn then grabbed a seat so that I could order a drink. Jus is the first one to break away from all of the flirting going on to actually show me some attention. But since I know the one thing that Jus loves more than women is money, I’m sure his motive for doing so will become clear real quick. “What’s up, bro? So how are the profits at the gym since you’ve added those pole dancing classes?” I chuckled because I could write a book on Jus’ moves, if nothing else, he’s consistent. “Jus, we literally just added the classes, give the marketing team some time to put their plan to work. We should see an increase in membership enrollment soon. Look, you made a sound investment in the gym, and I appreciate you being my silent partner, but I told you that you won’t start seeing a return on your investment right away. Let’s use tonight to talk about anything other than work or business. What’s up with these chicks at the table? I thought we were coming here to watch the game?” “I’m shocked you can talk about anything other than the gym since you practically live there. When is the last time you’ve been to your condo? You've been avoiding that place since you and Meena broke up.” Jus asked me while glancing at the chick licking her ruby red lips. She was calling out to him like a siren. “I’ll be right back Dame, let me go to the bar to grab some more beer, you want something?” The whole time he was looking at ole girl and not paying me any attention. I could have been choking on peanuts and he wouldn’t have noticed. “Nah nigga, go head and start planning your future. I know how you feel about women who wear red lipstick.” He gave me a look that had me almost burst out in laughter and she had no idea what she was getting into with Jus, he was intense as hell. He looked like the cat that caught the canary. While the guys were occupied, my mind thought back to everything I have on the line with the gym and my plans to expand Fitness Unlimited nationally. My vision of starting a chain of fitness centers and gyms started as a joke, but once I stopped laughing, I pulled Jus in as he is a financial genius and I trust him with my life. So if I continue to stick to the plan that he’s outlined for me, our second location will be set to open up in Charlotte in four months. Aside from the gym, I started thinking about the short, thick chick that joined today. She said she was married, but there was a certain sadness about her. I was raised by a single mom, along with an older sister, so if nothing else, they taught me how to be in tune with women without using words. It was both a gift and a curse. She had a unique name that escapes me at the moment, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t realize how alluring she was. Too bad she’s off limits, women who were taken were not my speed at all. Not that I have any time to explore anything with a woman at this time anyway. After Meena gave me the boot for not proposing to her, I decided to chill on all romantic relationships as a whole. My tunnel vision is in full effect and was focused solely on building my brand. The downside is that I still had to deal with Meena because her Marketing Firm that she co-owned with Jus’ sister, Justine, handled all of the marketing campaigns for the gym. At least she was smart enough to let Justine take the lead for my business, if nothing else, Meena is an astute businesswoman. Arick approached me looking bored and over his fun flirting. His moral compass was on shaky ground sometimes because he had a certain image to maintain as the owner of the hottest nightclub in the city, and I’m sure his wife wouldn’t appreciate him acting like an unattached man in public. June and Arick have been married for five years, and the only day I’ve ever seen him wear a ring was the day of his wedding when I stood as one of his groomsmen. I don't think that Arick ever fucked other chicks, but that didn't stop him from having them think that there was a chance. “Sup dude, you just gone sit over here looking like you never gone see pussy ever again? Holla at one of these chicks, they definitely are down. You know Shawn's lovestruck ass ain't gone do nothing with them.” “A, I'm not worried about no pussy right now. Pussy equals trouble. And leave Shawn alone. He's not ready to go all in with Justine yet. At least he knows and ain't stringing her along and leaving her home alone all the time while he's out in the streets.” I know that that was a low blow, but Arick should not the one offering anyone relationship advice. “Dame, that was kind of a low blow. June understands the industry I'm in and she's well taken care of my nigga.” I can see I hit a sore spot with him, so I'm gonna leave it alone… for now. “If that's what you have to tell yourself Arick, then you are in way more trouble than you realize. Junie is like a sister to me and I don't wanna see her hurt.” “Yo Dame, you sure are being judgemental for a nigga that didn't have a good reason not to marry his girl. Especially since she stuck by your ass when you were still trying to figure your shit out. So how about you worry about your own relationship before treading into mine!” “A’ight Arick, you made your point. You've been drinking, so let's end this convo before we say something we can't take back. My bad man, I just want you and Junie to be happy and it's not my business on how you define happiness. Now, in other news, has Justine reached out to you to plan the fundraiser at your club?” I can't believe I'm asking this after I just told Jus no in regards to talking about work or business. As Arick and I were talking fundraiser details, Shawn and Jus joined us. The minute we got settled the waitress brought us wings and more beer to the table. “Hi Professor Johnson. Enjoy your food and let me know if you need anything else!” She was looking at Shawn like she was in love. “Thanks Natalie, see you in class.” No matter where we hung out, Shawn was always running into his students. He hated it, but he loved being a Computer Science Professor and shaping young, black minds at one of the best HBCUs in the country. “Shawn, I don't know how you do it. I would be knee deep in all that pussy every damn day if all my students looked like that. Hell, they're legal.” Of course that's was Arick. Thinking the sun shined and set to pussy. “Man, I'm not thinking about those girls. My job is to give them the tools to compete with these white, privileged kids out here. That's hard enough to do without thinking about getting in their pants. Plus, I need my women fully grown, like those new women who showed up at Dame's gym today. What's the deal, did you talk to them?” Shawn thinks he's slick. He always tries to talk about other women so no one will bring up the fact that he's secretly head over heels in love with Justine. Hell, we all knew. Everyone except Justine knew. Even Jus gave him the go ahead to shoot his shot. But his careful, calculated ass is always talking about it's not a good time. “I spoke to them briefly. They both have had memberships for a while, but are just getting around to using them. Y'all know I like to personally give tours to new members to get their honest feedback before they find out I'm the owner. So I just showed them around and that was that.” The way that Shawn was smiling at me made me think that he believes there's more to the story. “So you weren't tryna holler at the short one? You were spending extra time with her. I'm surprised because her friend seemed much more your type. Tall, bougie, and bad.” Shawn was laying it on a little thick here. I'd be wrong if I just started talking about Justine to throw his nerdy ass off balance. “Shawn, you were there for all of five minutes, so how could you possibly determine all of that? Either way you're reading too much into the entire situation. The short one is married and I'm not interested in the tall one or any woman for that matter. I'm married to my business plan right now.” Hopefully we can move on now. “That's what I'm talking bout Dame. Make that money, don't let the money make you!” That was from mister money himself, Jus. We shot the breeze for another hour or so then all went our separate ways before agreeing to meet up again on Saturday at Arick's club. But for some reason, I was bothered that I couldn't remember shorty's name.
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